Changes

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2011                                              9:15 P.M. E.S.T.
SORTIE 1 OF THE DAY
PILOT F. IRISH S/A
EQUIPMENT OLD BLUE EYES (POST RETIREMENT)

ENTRY 1
     Just getting to my first smoke of the day...which blows my mind. I have to be careful as to how open I am with my smoking around my parents. My mom knows I smoke, but always gives me shit about it, my dad doesn't let on that he knows that I smoke, if he does at all. The problem is that both see it as a 'drug' instead of medicine. They think I'm out to get high and be stupid, when I'm really trying to cope with psychological issues while being a productive individual. If I didn't smoke pot, I'd have failed outta college working some job that I was forced to work. I work on a farm and love it. Honestly, recent college graduates especially, you may think you are too good for a job because you are over qualified, or have a predetermined idea of what you want to do with your life, but try something before you judge it. I never saw myself working on a farm, enjoying country music, and being single after I graduated college. I figured I'd either be A) In the military with an officer's commission on voluntary front line duty [Needs to be clarified, I was naive when that was my ultimate goal. I respect and admire the veterans of our country as it has been my pleasure to both work and remain close friends with vets from almost all the wars in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries. If the military didn't have some view that marijuana was evil and allowed its use I would be at the recruiter tomorrow, just based upon idealism.]; B) Working at a museum, and researching personal histories; or C) Teaching history in middle or high school, wherever my ex was located at the time.
     Now? I work on a horse farm, where I look forward to going to work, at any time. Seriously, 24/7. Its awesome. I listen to country music as well, which I would have found appalling only a year and a half ago. Some of it sounds like the hokey pokey shit you think of when you think country, the whole "I left my boots in the bed of my truck, my dog blue was riding shotgun, and my ole gal, well I gotta tell, took off and left me here..." (Face it, a lot of country songs were just summed up in that one line) Now, I don't think they are all like that. A lot of the music is patriotic (talking about the Confederacy is not a patriotic thing), or tell stories that not only flow melodically, but have some sort of lesson. As for being single, I was hopelessly in love with someone at the time, with starry eyed visions of settling down and living with that person. But, truth conquers all, regardless of how it comes to light. The truth changes shit in ways you never expect, and just within the space of this last year, my life has changed greatly. But on that note, I'm off. I need a shower.