Joint Operation

THURSDAY, JANUARY 19, 2012                                            11:10 A.M. E.S.T.  
SORTIE 2 OF THE DAY  
PILOT F. Irish S/A    
EQUIPMENT Old Blue Eyes   


ENTRY 1

     Packed a half bowl for the morning, as my stomach is giving me pain, and I've got a lot on my mind. However, I wanted to touch on joints, one of the most iconic ways that smokers throughout time have enjoyed marijuana.

GH HIT!

I am no Master Roller, I cannot roll blunts for the life of me (and I prefer not to. Though I may partake, and throw in for a blunt, it is by no means my favored way of smoking, and I see it as a waste of marijuana), and only recently have I returned to rolling Js after a two year hiatus. The point is, I roll what is known as a bugle: tapered, with the mouthpiece being about maybe a half to a third the width of the end you light. After closing the mouthpiece, I leave the burning end open, packing in the bud that fell out as I rolled the joint. With a twist, I've completed a bugle style joint. I bring this up because last night, both myself and B Cents each rolled a J. My bugle seemed strange to him (and it more than likely is strange to most my age, as it is a classic way of rolling, and by classic I mean first half of the twentieth century), and he presented to me what I call a cannon. Consistently he rolls joints the size of Camel Wides, they are massive (His blunts are the same, as packed as they can be).

HIT!

     We chose his J as our first victim, and I quickly became a victim of its power. Coughing fits are rough when they hit you in that most spectacular of ways (I am an ardent believer that coughing serves to get you higher. Coughing is associated with a lack of oxygen and the body trying to pull oxygen into the lungs, which  at the time of smoking are full of THC rich smoke...) As I died on the couch next to him, Cents discovered that he had rolled a seed into his joint... we all know seeds ruin the taste, and unfortunately we had to eradicate the problem. After sitting on it for a hot bit, we sparked the roach from his J. And following yet another devastating few hits, another seed was found by the flame. That was the end of that particular J. I'm sitting here looking at the one I rolled, twelve full hours later. And I'm not gonna smoke it alone. So I will just have to wait.

HIT!

     There are a plethora of ways to roll a joint, and each of us has our own method. Machine rolling, the little hand rollers, dollar bills, we all have some different view on how to best roll a joint. I cannot claim that mine is any better than yours, or that my joint will fuck you just right, but I can roll one (like riding a bike, you never really forget). But, I do have one type of joint that I will never take part it, one that I find extremely offensive...a Bible Joint. The paper in your bible is of really good quality, and that has led some people to use it to roll joints. My issue is that you are defacing someone's beliefs in doing so. The Bible, though I don't believe in it as a book of truth, is something that people hold near and dear to them. It is the way they decide to live their lives, and to use it's paper to smoke is kinda fucked up. Think about it. Wouldn't you be upset if I rolled a joint from lets say, your diary/journal. I burned the page that you wrote "I know he is the one, and I'll always love him forever and ever and ever and ever and ever..." or, "Today changed my life, I figured out that..." I dunno, I just don't agree with Bible Joints. They're fucked up.

HIT! 

FUN FACT: An early term for a joint, popularized by the Jazz bands of the twenties and thirties, refers to it as a Gauge. Used in a sentence: "Hey, I'm headed out back to blow a gauge, if you care to help."

     I just wanted to give you guys a bit of my view on the matter, as scatterbrained as it may seem to me at this moment. For being one of the most universal ways of smoking, it doesn't seem to be as favored as it once was, a very sad and alarming fact.

HIT!

     This weekend, as you are sitting around looking at your new baggie, take a moment and consider rolling a joint. And after you roll it, take a moment to appreciate how many have been rolled since the beginning of time. On your way out the door, if anyone asks what you are doing, stop, smile and let them know you've got a gauge you need to take care of. For without these rolled cylinders of marijuana glory, we lose our connection to the past.